Such is life...

Stress is a funny thing. It does weird things to you and affect different people differently. For me, it makes me turn red from the chest up, my eye twitches, and I chew the insides of my cheeks in my sleep. I don't realize that I'm worrying about stuff until I notice other things... like the smallest little annoyance is a huge deal when usually it wouldn't phase me a bit.

I like to think I handle things well. I can function with high levels of stress and put on a good show so no one knows what's going on. In a crisis, I'm always the one coming up with a plan on what to do next.

I think that's my main problem. I'm a planner. I don't mind if my plans change...that just means I make new plans. However, right now, I can't plan. I don't know what's happening and I don't know how to deal except continue to put one foot in front of the other.

What's happening that's so bad you ask? That's another major issue for me. My problems are actually small compared to most people. Tiny. Microscopic. And I realize this. However, they keep coming and compounding on me...

As most of you know, Tyler has been out of work (minus the time he was in Wyoming) since December of last year. Take that and add in the sucky economy with few job opportunities.

Because of this, we are having to sell our house. The house I have fallen in love with, my dream house. That comes with a big hit to the pride area. If circumstances had continued like we thought they would, we'd be fine... however obviously they haven't.

The first stress with this is actually selling the house. Trying to keep it clean, worrying about no one calling, wishing they would but having a feeling in the pit of your stomach that when they come look, that's the end...

Then you put in where are we going to live?? A good majority of my paycheck goes to insurance not to mention the other bills we have... I know my parents wouldn't mind us moving in for a short time period but then what? And really, who wants to have to go crawling back to Mom and Dad?

Add in Tyler's ear problems. We're learning to live with them but still cannot remember to take his medicine with us and he's had two episodes when we are out and about.

Then there's work. Along with the normal stuff... My boss has been out of the office due to medical reason and then my co-worker was in a serious car accident. Thankfully she's pretty much ok. The wreck could have been MUCH worse. I've been worried about both of them on a personal level because I consider us all friends. We are a three person department, so basically, I'm doing the work of three people right now every day at work. The nature of my job (HR for those of you who don't know) requires complete confidenitality so it's not like I can just ask for help from someone in another department.

Then there's the normal stuff. The kids still need me. They are both getting ready to go to school so there's school supplies/clothes shopping. They start karate on Tuesday. Our weekends have been packed with fun activities but still packed... so not much down time for Mommy!

I keep clinging to the promise that God will not give us more than we can handle. Like I said, I know a lot of people who have problems way worse than any (or all) of mine... sometimes they just get to me more than others. Today was actually a pretty good day.. and of course the kids are spending the night with my mom so even though I have the energy and time to spend with them, they aren't here.... such is life!

Sorry for being such a downer. I've been meaning to do this post for a while but can't ever seem to find time too... I know it's just a jumpled mess... but such is life right??